Differential Calculus

(Note: This post has NOTHING to do with mathematics. So people suffering from innumeracy, you have nothing to worry about. It's just a silly title that's all.)

When I was a kid, I didn't really think I was gay. Maybe I was gay, but I did not think I was. Heck- back then I did not even know what gay was. But one thing is for sure, I certainly knew I was different.

Unlike my boy playmates, I was never keen with "manly" games such as diablo, sumpit-sumpitan, basketball, etc. And unlike my girl playmates, I did not enjoy playing house (I'd rather play school so I could be teacher) nor rag dolls. But I enjoyed very much the usual games kids my age played during those times: patintero, tumbang preso, moro-moro, saker, taguan, teks to name a few. I was also quite good with piko and jackstone. And of course, I shared their love of watching Bioman, Shaider, Maskman and all.

Unlike most of my cousins, I loved going to school. I asked a lot. I read a lot. I was very curious and I loved learning new things. Making homeworks and projects did not bother me. I was even looking forward to doing them, in fact. I was such a nerd, gee.

Unlike my brothers (we are four in the family, all boys I have three), I never bothered with things called crushes and girl(?)friends. To be honest I never have had a crush since later in highschool. I was busy doing things, busy with school, busy with other "important" stuff. I was busy trying to live up to being the achiever(?) that I was perceived to be.

Unlike most teener boys, I adored watching my mom putting make up, I'd go to their room with a book on the pretense that I was studying, but all I really was studying is her every stroke applying eyeshadow or lipstick. haha. But like teener boys, I too have had shares of daily, you know, raging hormone episodes. Hey, I wasn't that alien!

Unlike most of the youngsters in the clan (typical province, relatives living within an arm's length from each other), I knew most of the family's secrets. I was my mom's confidante. (maybe that's why I grew up being nosy and loving chismis. haha.) Yes, I knew who was the ampon, knew why our kid neighbor looks very much like an uncle, basically knew too much for my age. Maybe my mom probably thought I was wise beyond my years, or that I did not care, would not remember anyway. But look ma, I remembered and I do not care if I was not ready for such revelations- afterall, it's always great knowing something not everyone knew! :)

Looking back, ok, fine, I probably was gay already (would a straight kiddo actually watch his mom put on some rouge in her pucker, probably not!)! So what's my point in this post? I was different (and felt different) because I was me - not because I was gay. And yes, I enjoyed my childhood even if I felt different.



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PTP (Points to Ponder): Did you ever feel you were different too? Did you have a memorable and enjoyable childhood?